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Been Nowhere, Done Nothing

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Been Nowhere, Done Nothing

By: Paul Glazebrook
Narrated by: Paul Glazebrook
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BEEN NOWHERE, DONE NOTHING The brutally honest, laugh-out-loud, and unexpectedly moving true story of life as a British infantry soldier.

Paul "Glazey" Glazebrook didn't set out to write a war memoir. He set out to tell the truth — about growing up on a council estate, about army selection, about the mates who became brothers, and about the chaos, humour, and horror of operational tours from South Armagh to Iraq.

What he wrote instead became one of the most talked-about military memoirs in years — a book civilians read in one sitting and veterans pass between each other like a regimental in-joke.

There's no glorification here. No deep political reflection. Just the real, raw, occasionally filthy truth of what it's actually like to serve — told with the kind of dark, self-deprecating humour that gets soldiers through anything.

Rated 4.9 stars on Amazon and 4.8 stars on Audible, where Paul narrates the audiobook himself.

Whether you served or you've never worn a uniform in your life — this is the British Army as you've never heard it before.

©2025 Paul Glazebrook (P)2025 Paul Glazebrook Military & War Funny Witty
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Critic reviews

‘A brutally honest and hilarious account of soldiering from a Rifleman’s perspective’ —Andy McNab CBE, DCM, MM
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I have never served in the armed forces so love to hear the stories of those that have. This book kept me enthralled from beginning to end. Well worth a listen.

Gripping

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All I will say is top bloke for a Green Jacket!
Well done mate, now get the spoons out the sink! K***y must of taught you everything you know! Out!!!

The reflection of my early years in the RE.

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Good book normal lad done good and made himself proud of his achievements in his career and it’s quite funny and easy to listen to listen to

Great honestly told

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Brilliant account of life in the forces. The highs and lows captured with the British sense of humour

A good funny account of life in the forces

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This is my first time listening to an audio book and what 1 to start on. Hearing paul tell his story in his own unique brand of witty, dark humoured and explicty descriptive way was brilliant. The book had me laughing with all the antics you'd expect a squaddie and his mates to get upto as well as retching in some parts too (faecal mole in particular) and then towards the end crying with the horrors and sad deaths faced by paul and his army brothers while serving in iraq. Highly recommend anyone to buy the book or give the audiobook a listen , you won't regret it. Amazing job ❤️

a funny, brutally honest insight into army life

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