Diddly Squat cover art

Diddly Squat

A Year on the Farm

Preview

Audible Standard 30-day free trial

Try Standard free
Select 1 audiobook a month from our entire collection.
Listen to your selected audiobooks as long as you're a member.
Get unlimited access to bingeable podcasts.
Standard auto renews for £5.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Diddly Squat

By: Jeremy Clarkson
Narrated by: Jeremy Clarkson
Try Standard free

£5.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for £7.76

Buy Now for £7.76

About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Welcome to Jeremy's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know, farming was much better left to someone else

Then one day he decided he would do the farming himself.

After all, how hard could it be?

Well . . .

Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.

Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the Tractor Driver, Cheerful Charlie, Ellen the Shepherd and Gerald, his Head of Security and Dry Stone Waller. Between them they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.

And yet while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence . . .


Praise for Clarkson's Farm:

'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this" THE GUARDIAN;

'Shockingly hopeful' THE INDEPENDENT;

'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' THE TELEGRAPH;

'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

© Jeremy Clarkson 2021 (P) Penguin Audio 2021

Entertainment & Celebrities Celebrity Funny Thought-Provoking Witty
All stars
Most relevant
If you’ve watched the Amazon series about Mr Clarkson’s farm you will really enjoy this. So pleased he narrated his own words, no one else could have put the amount of feeling behind those snapshots of farm like. Brilliant narration.
The madness of trying to make a farm pay is relentlessly driven home. More from the side of a normal operation that doesn’t have a media life to bridge the huge gaps. He has probably done more for the farming industry than anyone else. Certainly the National Farming Union think so.
The audiobook is laugh out loud funny. It really brings home what a good communicator Mr C is.

Very entertaining!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

loved every line. I laughed, it put me in good humour and it was also interesting and informative.

hilarious!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

I could have listened to this for hours more. Laughed out loud at some anecdotes. Brilliantly written and narratived. More please! Podcast?

So good!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Excellent listen. On more than one occasion laughing out loud. Please do more Jeremy, would definitely recommend.

Class listen. please do more

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Jeremy’ writing and delivery is spot on. Made me chuckle, a lot and on a serious point make you realise what a though job farming is in many ways

Love it

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

See more reviews