Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of relationship trauma, emotional distress following breakups and rejection, a period of depression and questioning one's sense of purpose, and calling off a wedding. There is also mention of over-the-counter sleep medication. Please take care if any of these topics are sensitive for you.

Summary: In this episode, Bri sits down with Sydney-based Clinical Psychologist and couples therapist Phoebe Rogers — author of When Will It Happen For Me? — for a warm, funny and deeply honest conversation about AuDHD, relationships, dating, and the long road to self-acceptance.

Phoebe shares her own late diagnosis journey: first identified with ADHD around a year before the recording, and autism shortly after reading Is This Autism? — both discoveries that reframed decades of personal and relationship experiences. She reflects on how she'd always "vibed" with neurodivergent clients and colleagues without realising she was one of them, and how her own painful relationship history — including calling off a wedding at 36 — ultimately drove her to study couples therapy and develop frameworks to help others.

Together, Bri and Phoebe explore how AuDHD shapes the way we date, attach, communicate, and connect — including the intensity of crushes and hyperfocus on a person, rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), anxious attachment patterns, and the particular challenges of two neurodivergent people communicating with each other. They also celebrate the beautiful sides: deep loyalty, emotional expressiveness, playfulness, and the capacity to love fiercely.

The conversation moves into friendship too — how "little worlds" work for neurodivergent people, why the neurotypical expectation of large social circles rarely fits, and how self-acceptance opens the door to accepting others as they are. The episode closes with Phoebe's core message: be yourself, and you will find your people.

Takeaways:

1. Late diagnosis can reframe everything — especially relationships.

2. Anxious attachment and RSD are common in AuDHD — and they're workable.

3. "If they cared, they would" is a myth that needs retiring.

4. Love is not supposed to be easy — but it shouldn't require you to hide yourself.

5. Neurodivergent couples often need a "translator."

6. "Little worlds" are valid — and worth protecting.

7. Be yourself — that's the whole dating tip.

Content Warning:

• Discussion of emotional distress and dysregulation
• Experiences of feeling unsafe (including in school and home environments)
• Masking, people-pleasing, and chronic invalidation
• Inner child work (including references to early childhood experiences)
• Trauma (including developmental / “little t” trauma)
• Systemic barriers impacting neurodivergent people

Summary:

In this episode, Bri is joined by Christina Schmidt to explore what it truly means to cultivate a felt sense of safety as an AuDHD person, both internally and within the environments we move through.

Together, they unpack how safety is not just a cognitive concept, but a deeply embodied, nervous system experience, one that is shaped over time through our relationships, environments, and the ways our needs are responded to (or dismissed).

Christina shares powerful reflections from her clinical work, particularly in school settings, highlighting how seemingly small changes, like a new teacher, classroom, or unmet sensory need, can significantly disrupt a child’s sense of safety and capacity to engage.

The conversation explores how many AuDHDers grow up experiencing chronic invalidation, being told to “push through,” ignore discomfort, or prioritise others’ needs, and how this can lead to disconnection from self, high masking, and difficulty accessing safety in adulthood.

Bri and Christina also introduce pathways back toward safety, including co-regulation, meeting sensory needs, reconnecting with the inner child, and gently shifting attention back toward self.

At its core, this episode is a compassionate invitation to move away from self-blame and toward understanding:that safety is not something we “should just have,” but something that is built, supported, and deeply relational.

Takeaways:

• Safety is a felt, embodied experience, not just a thought. It lives in the nervous system, not just the mind.
• Chronic invalidation disrupts safety. Being told to ignore sensory, emotional, or relational needs teaches AuDHDers that their experience doesn’t matter.
• Masking often develops to maintain external safety. Many people learn to prioritise others’ comfort over their own, even at a significant internal cost.
• Environmental changes can deeply impact regulation. Things like new teachers, different tones of voice, lighting, seating, or social dynamics can significantly affect felt safety.
• You are not “overreacting”; your nervous system is responding. Sensory and emotional sensitivity play a key role in how safety is experienced.
• Co-regulation is powerful. Safe people can help us access regulation when we can’t do it alone.
• You don’t have to do it all yourself. Reaching safety can involve others, environments, and supports, not just internal effort.
• Your needs deserve to come first, too. Shifting away from constant people-pleasing is part of building safety.
• Inner child work can support healing. Many experiences of unsafety are rooted in early life, and can be gently met with compassion and validation now.
• Safety is shaped by systems, not just individuals. Social structures, expectations, and environments can either support or block access to safety.
• There is no one way to feel safe. For some, it might feel like warmth, stillness, softness, or “amber light”, for others, something entirely different.
• Safety can start small. Meeting sensory needs, softening expectations, or connecting with one safe person can be a starting point.

You can find Christina on Instagram at @freetobeme.speech.

Content Warning:

• Discussion of burnout and overwhelm
• Experiences of feeling misunderstood or “not fitting”
• Academic and school-related stress
• Perfectionism and pressure around potential
• Mental health challenges (including anxiety and low self-worth)

If these are prickly for you today, go have a cuppa instead!

Summary:

In this episode, Bri sits down with Caitlin to explore multi-exceptionality — the experience of being both gifted and multiply disabled (aka AuDHD).

Together, they unpack the complexity of having strengths and challenges that can mask each other. High intelligence, strong verbal skills, or creativity can often hide support needs, while struggles with executive functioning, emotional regulation, or sensory experiences can be misunderstood as a lack of effort or inconsistency.

The conversation explores how many twice-exceptional individuals grow up feeling “out of sync” — excelling in some areas while quietly struggling in others — and how this can impact identity, self-worth, and access to support.

Bri and Caitlin also challenge the idea that capability equals coping, highlighting the invisible effort it can take to keep up, mask difficulties, and meet expectations.

At its core, this episode is about recognising and validating the full picture — and creating space for both strengths and support needs to exist at the same time.

Takeaways:

• You can be gifted and still need support. Strengths don’t cancel out challenges — both can exist at the same time.
• Capability ≠ coping. Just because someone is achieving or performing well doesn’t mean it feels easy or sustainable.
• Twice exceptionality can be invisible. Strengths can mask difficulties, and difficulties can mask strengths — leading to missed or delayed understanding.
• “Inconsistency” often has an explanation. Fluctuating performance is not a character flaw — it reflects underlying differences in processing, energy, and support needs.
• The pressure of “potential” can be heavy. Being seen as capable or “bright” can create unrealistic expectations and internalised pressure.
• Many multi-exceptional individuals feel out of sync. Being ahead in some areas and behind in others can lead to confusion, frustration, and disconnection from peers.
• Masking can come at a cost. Trying to maintain a capable or “put together” image can contribute to burnout and identity confusion.
• Support should be based on need, not visibility. You don’t have to struggle more obviously to deserve help.
• Understanding changes everything. Having language for your experience can shift self-blame into self-compassion.
• You are allowed to be both. Both capable and struggling. Both strong and needing support.

You can find Caitlin on Instagram at @cathartic.collaborations, at her website www.catharticcollaborations.com.au, and listen to her podcast Divergent Dialogues.