Asking for help can be difficult, especially when you are struggling with anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, or agoraphobia. In this episode, Drew and Josh break down the nuances of asking for anxiety help. There is a fine line between asking for genuine support and looking for compulsive reassurance or soothing to make the discomfort disappear.

Drew and Josh discuss why so many people feel like a burden when asking for support and how anxiety often twists the desire for help into a demand for certainty. You will learn how to shift away from asking for short-term fixes and instead ask for the encouragement and reminders you need to tolerate difficult feelings and build long-term psychological flexibility.

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Want talk about this episode with Josh and Drew and others that share your experience in a supportive environment? We're hanging out on the Disordered Community space.

https://disordered.fm/community

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The guys also share inspiring "Did It Anyway" stories from the community, demonstrating how learning to accept discomfort—and sometimes even choosing to do less or rest—is a vital part of the recovery journey.

• Reassurance vs. Support: Understanding the difference between asking for tools to cope and asking for temporary soothing to make the feelings go away.

• Overcoming the "Burden" Myth: Why anxiety makes you feel like an inconvenience and how to reframe asking for help as a step toward growth.

• Asking for Encouragement over Certainty: How requesting reminders of your past success and capability can help you step into feared situations.

• The Courage to Do Less: Why sometimes the best way to do it anyway is to give yourself permission to rest and step off the productivity treadmill.

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available as a paperback or on Kindle

https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.

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Got a question or did it anyway to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.

OCD is a difficult condition to navigate, but it becomes significantly more challenging when obsessions center on taboo topics. Themes involving harm, pedophilia (pOCD), sexual orientation (HOCD), or moral and religious failure often carry a heavy burden of shame. This shame frequently drives people into silence, preventing them from seeking the help they need.

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Want to talk about this episode with Drew, Josh, and other members of the Disordered community that share your struggle?

https://disordered.fm/community

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In this episode, Drew is joined by Jess Marriner, an OCD specialist based in the UK. They discuss why the human brain can latch onto these specific themes and why having a "taboo" thought does not reflect your character or your actual desires.

Key Topics Discussed:

• The Nature of Taboo Thoughts: Recognizing that intrusive thoughts about harm or socially unacceptable acts are common mental occurrences and do not make you a dangerous person.

• The Role of Shame: How the socially unacceptable nature of these themes feeds the OCD cycle and keeps sufferers isolated.

• Common Compulsions: Identifying sneaky mental rituals like reassurance seeking, thought neutralizing, and "testing" to see if a thought feels true.

• Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): How to approach treatment by leaning into the discomfort and uncertainty rather than fighting the content of the thoughts.

• The Goal of Recovery: Moving from a state of constant panic and checking to a place where thoughts are seen as irrelevant mental noise.

If you are struggling with taboo obsessions, this conversation highlights that you are not alone and that recovery is possible through evidence-based approaches like ERP and acceptance-based strategies.

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is now available. If you're struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or leave a voicemail on our website.

In this episode, Josh and Drew discuss a common hurdle in anxiety recovery: the desire to "win" against your anxiety. For many, especially those with perfectionist tendencies, anxiety is viewed as an adversary that has taken something away. This leads to a constant, habitual checking to see if the anxiety is gone, which inadvertently keeps you stuck in a cycle of monitoring and frustration.

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Want to talk about this episode with us and interact with others that are sharing your experience?

https://disordered.fm/community

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We look at why defining recovery as a "win" can be counterproductive.

• The Lack of Closure: Unlike a sports match, there is no final bell or celebration when you recover. Recovery often just peters out until you realize you haven't thought about how you feel in weeks.

• Examination Compulsions: When you are hell-bent on winning, you might find yourself checking how you feel 50 times a day. Because anxiety involves a doubt response, even a "good" check is often met with more doubt, leading to increased frustration.

• The Perfectionist Hurdle: Perfectionists often want to get recovery "exactly right," looking for a certificate or absolute proof that the battle is over.

We explore the idea that true progress isn't measured by the absence of symptoms, but by your willingness to experience them.

• Surrender vs. Resistance: While "winning" implies a fight, recovery is found in surrender—not to the anxiety, but to the reality of the moment.

• Functional Impact: We discuss measuring success by how much you are living your life, regardless of how you feel. If an adrenaline spike used to stop you for a week and now it only stops you for an hour, that is progress.

• The Paradox of Recovery: You know you are winning when you stop asking if you are winning.

We share inspiring stories from our community members who practiced these principles.

• The 5K Race: A listener shares how she completed a 5K and set a personal best despite dealing with stomach cramps and the urge to stop.

• The London Trip: A community member discusses traveling to London and using the tube while experiencing high anxiety and physical sensations, choosing to lean into the discomfort to attend an important event.

• The Wedding Day: A past caller shares her experience of getting married while navigating Relationship OCD (ROCD), proving that you can have a beautiful, meaningful day even when your internal experience is difficult.

Ultimately, the win isn't when the anxiety leaves; the win is when it doesn't matter that it's there.

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is now available. If you're struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or leave a voicemail on our website.