Most men today are doing everything they have been told to do to attract a woman. They are being kind, accommodating, agreeable, and endlessly pleasing. And it is working against them every single time.

Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Marni Kinrys, dating coach and wing girl to men for over 22 years, for one of the most honest and practical conversations about what women actually feel on a date, why nice guys keep finishing last, and what the science says about why the very thing men think is working is exactly what is destroying their chances.

What you will learn in this conversation:

1- Why a woman's attraction can completely reverse within minutes of a first impression and what actually changes it 2- The four S's that create attraction in women and why most men are accidentally hitting zero of them 3- Why a nervous man does not just fail to attract a woman but actively makes her feel unsafe and what her nervous system does as a result 4- Why a woman who soothes a nervous man on a first date has already decided she will never sleep with him 5- Why nice guys are training women to see them as employees instead of leaders and what that costs them in every relationship 6- Why avoidant men are not just born that way and how anxious men are actually creating avoidant women without knowing it 7- What vasopressin bonding is why men can only get it from other men and what happens when they never do 8- Why the CEO and COO model of marriage is the only dynamic that actually makes both people happy 9- What Marni's husband finally understood after she sent him ten Instagram posts that changed everything between them

If you are a man who has been working hard to make women happy and wondering why it never seems to work, or a woman who wants to finally understand why the men she loves keep getting it wrong, this conversation will give you both the answer and the path forward.

📚 WORK WITH ME

💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/30

📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/30

📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/30

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

Most young men today have never had a real conversation about relationships with another man who actually knows what he is talking about. This episode is that conversation.

Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Franco Fernandez, a 24 year old Catholic content creator with a large social media following, for one of the most raw and honest coaching sessions the show has ever done. Franco came in thinking he was just anxiously attached. What came out was something much more layered, much more human, and much more relatable than either of them expected.

What you will learn in this conversation:

1- Why young men today are trying to reverse engineer something they were never shown from the inside and why that is not their fault 2- How anxious and avoidant tendencies pull in opposite directions at the same time and what that looks like in real dating situations Why performing to make someone like you is the exact thing that prevents real connection from ever forming 4- Why chasing the hardest to get woman is not always confidence and what it might actually be rooted in 5- The difference between a feelings based relationship and a real one and why feelings alone will always leave you in the airport alone 6- Why asking questions with context is the single most powerful tool for building intimacy and how most men never learn to do it 7- What it actually looks like to stop performing and start being a human being with another human being 8- Why the men and women who want the same things keep completely missing each other and what is actually in the way 9- What it means to need proof that people can love you when you are not performing and why almost every young person needs that proof right now

If you are a young man trying to figure out how relationships actually work without anyone to show you, this conversation will give you more clarity than years of trying to figure it out alone.

📚 WORK WITH ME

💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/23

📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/23

📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/23

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

Most people ask if avoidant women even exist. They do. And this conversation is one of the most honest and revealing looks at what avoidant attachment actually looks like from the inside of a woman who lives it every day.

Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Carly Randall, a self-identified avoidant woman and strategic business partner, for a live coaching session that covers everything from two avoidant partners trying to make a relationship work, to avoidant mothering, to why asking if you would still love me if I was a bug is actually one of the healthiest things an avoidant woman has ever said.

What you will learn in this conversation:

1- What avoidant attachment actually looks like in a woman and why men so often mistake it for selfishness 2- Why avoidant women lose respect for anxious partners and what that tells you about what they actually need 3- What happens when two avoidant people get together and why it can actually work with the right systems in place 4- Why the black and white switch of I am all in or I am completely done is one of the most dangerous patterns for avoidant women and what to do about it 5- The difference between taking space to regulate and taking space to dodge and how to tell which one you are doing 6- How avoidant mothering shows up in real life and what the biggest risks are for the children of avoidant parents 7- Why telling your kids mommy needs a break without giving them context is one of the most damaging things you can accidentally do 8- Why an avoidant woman suddenly asking for reassurance is not a sign she is becoming anxious but a sign she is finally becoming secure 9- Why the feeling that you do not want to be a burden is actually rooted in adoption and early abandonment and what it is really asking for

If you have ever wondered whether avoidant women are real, what they feel, how they parent, and whether they can actually build a deep loving relationship, this is the episode you have been waiting for.

📚 WORK WITH ME

🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 4 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat-new/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/16

💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/16

📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/16

📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/16

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1