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Parenting Autism and ADHD

Parenting Autism and ADHD

By: Cliff Kilmister
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Parenting Autism and ADHD is a podcast designed to support parents and carers of children with autism, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and other neurodevelopmental challenges, as well as children struggling with school attendance, even if they haven’t yet been diagnosed. Each episode offers practical guidance on helping your child attend school with less stress, manage meltdowns, and navigate obstacles in the education system. Through expert advice, real-life stories, and actionable strategies, we aim to empower you to overcome school refusal, sensory sensitivities, and behavioural struggles with confidence. Our mission is to build a supportive community where parents and carers can connect, share experiences, and access the tools they need for their child’s success, while fostering collaboration between parents and teachers to create a strong, unified support system. Hygiene & Healthy Living Parenting & Families Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships
Episodes
  • 5 “Normal” Rules Neurodiverse Brains Struggle With (But No One Talks About)

    5 “Normal” Rules Neurodiverse Brains Struggle With (But No One Talks About)
    Jun 3 2026
    Neurodiverse people aren’t broken – we’re wired differently. What works for most other people doesn’t always work for us, especially when it comes to getting things done, motivating ourselves and handling stress. In this episode I dive into five common phrases parents that can really backfire with ADHD and autistic kids (and adults): “just try harder,” “be more disciplined,” “break it down into smaller tasks,” “use a planner,” and “stop being dramatic.” I share gentler questions you can ask instead, and ways to respond when your child is overwhelmed rather than “acting up.” This episode offers practical, compassionate alternatives to the rules and phrases most parents are told to rely on to keep their children moving forward in life. EPISODE REVEALS Typical parenting phrases e.g. “try harder, be more disciplined, get organised, stop being dramatic” often land as shame and misunderstanding for neurodiverse kids. Telling someone who is already trying harder than most people to “try harder” is hurtful and very demotivating. For many ADHD brains, “break it down into smaller tasks” and “use a planner” quickly turns into endless over-planning and overwhelm. Nothing actually gets done - simple, messy action beats perfect systems. ADHD brains run on dopamine, not sheer willpower, so building in regular, genuinely enjoyable breaks works far better than slogging away relentlessly at a task. What looks like drama is often a dysregulated nervous system after a day of masking, noise, and pressure. Respond accordingly. Be kind to yourself - you don´t have to fight against your own system. If your child does need support, calm yourself first - you're lending your nervous system to them. BEST MOMENTS "It turns biology into a character flaw." "Working harder in a system that isn't designed for us - this is what your children are going through, and this is why you know they're burning out." "You're not undisciplined, you are working against more friction." "Do not over plan – perfectionism is something we are guilty of." RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    35 mins
  • Getting Access to The Right Type of Assessment with Lisa Bond

    Getting Access to The Right Type of Assessment with Lisa Bond
    May 27 2026
    Today, Cliff welcomes Lisa Bond, who is herself neurodiverse. Lisa is a training, learning and development specialist who has hands on experience of counselling, advocacy, and litigation for neurodiverse families. Lisa works for AYC Psychology who offer a range of neurodiverse assessment services and is the founder of Impact Training. She lives in a Rainbow house of neurodiversity she and her son have ADHD, and her two daughters have autism. Together, they discuss whether the NHS or private assessment route is best, what a good assessment should look like and how to get one. They also cover why flexibility and providing choices works better than ultimatums, the positive role humour can play in neurodiverse households and tips to help you to navigate family life and the assessment process. EPISODE REVEALS If you choose to seek a private consultation, make sure they are properly qualified, use standardised assessments, proper equipment and are following NICE guidelines. If someone hesitates when you ask about their qualifications, that is a big red flag. Offering someone with neurodiversity a choice rather than an ultimatum usually leads to better outcomes. If your child is coming home exhausted, recognise that as a sign your child is masking. They are not coping despite appearing to do so to their teachers. The equality act is very clear that you do not need a diagnosis to get adjustments put in place. But realistically you will struggle to make that happen. Be kind – to yourself, your kids, and the people around you, including those you are seeking support from. BEST MOMENTS "Nobody would go private if the NHS were providing what we needed." "Look at the Google reviews. It is important that you get a really good assessment." "If you can understand the why….you can look at the right techniques." "You are processing on a different operating system. The whole world´s on a MAC and we´re on a I don´t know what this operating system is." EPISODE RESOURCESwww.psychologyassessmentservices.co.uk www.impacttrainers.co.uk CLIFF´S SOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR The Mandela effect scifi novel https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/2017413402 CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    54 mins
  • Beyond Parental Controls: Raising Porn-Literate, Neurodivergent Kids in a Digital World with Cath Hakanson

    Beyond Parental Controls: Raising Porn-Literate, Neurodivergent Kids in a Digital World with Cath Hakanson
    May 20 2026
    When it comes to sex and porn, many of us feel it’s “wrong” to talk to our kids – especially if they’re autistic, ADHD or highly sensitive. But if we don’t talk, the internet will, and it won’t explain the difference between entertainment and reality, or help them process what they’ve seen. Today I’m joined again by sex educator Cath Hakanson to explore how to have calm, age-appropriate conversations about porn, consent and online safety. We unpack why parental controls are only a first step, how porn shapes expectations of bodies and relationships, and how to support neurodivergent children who may be easily overwhelmed or confused by what they encounter online. EPISODE REVEALS Silence leaves the internet to do the educating about sex and porn - a very dangerous teacher, especially for sensitive, neurodivergent children. Parental control tools can delay exposure, but kids easily bypass them – so, honest, ongoing conversations are still essential. Neurodivergent children often need clear, concrete explanations, including what “counts” as porn, so they know when to tell you. The biggest risk with porn is its messaging about bodies, consent, gender and what “normal” sex looks like. Scare tactics can shut kids down, especially autistic and anxious teens; calm, shame-free dialogue keeps communication open. It’s okay for kids, and parents, to make mistakes online - what matters is that they feel safe enough to come to you if something goes wrong. BEST MOMENTS "We can't expect kids to make safe decisions about porn when they're uninformed." "It's not the porn that's the problem. It's the messaging that they get from porn." "Curiosity is a part of development." "You can't scare kids into safety, and you can't avoid your way into protection." Cath Hakanson https://sexedrescue.com/ email at cath@sexedrescue.com https://www.facebook.com/cathhakanson Previous episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/raising-neurodivergent-teens-in-a-sexualised-world/id1810681675?i=1000754576822 RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR The Mandela effect sci-fi novel https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/2017413402 Eva – InspireWithUs- https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT/ CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    1 hr and 1 min
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