Ellie and I return with semi-regular feature spammer time. There’s the clockwork-regular contribution from star pupil Olivia. Tales of door-based debacles and rude awakenings involving guns, explosions, sirens, and a duck. Plus paranormal experiences involving kids and a cat. I narrowly avoid being punched, and I inadvertently cause chaos in a swimming pool and get myself into hot water with some peeved parents. And of course it’s the reveal of our boundary-pushing mystery sound contest.

This week, I have an odd experience at a urinal. I blind a computer programmer. Ellie has a medical mishap. There’s a poem from the perspective of a piece of chewing gum. We take a walk in the park where we chat about my meeting with Jason Donovan, plus there’s more goose news, and we meet an arse-scratching squirrel; you’ll have to listen to discover if the squirrel is scratching its own arse, or the backside of me or Ellie. We’ve been looking after our ten-year-old nephew this weekend and it’s certainly been eventful. We have our first listener complaint and I enlist the services of Frank Skinner to defend my honour. Our street becomes embroiled in a bin-based drama. Plus, in yet another example of paradigm shifting podcasting, there’s a mystery sound competition. And more chat about Vegetables, Biscuits, Birds And Le Creuset.

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Coming Up, Plus Some Toilet Humour

(00:01:58) The Bastard Thing’s Crashed!

(00:20:48) William The Conqueror And The NHS Phone Service

(00:30:51) From Booing To Chewing

(00:34:57) Featuring Jason Donovan, Some Goose News, And An Arse-scratching Squirrel

(00:50:07) Listener Complaint

(01:04:52) Weird Woman At Gig

(01:09:01) Mystery Sound Competition And Some Street Drama

(01:23:18) More Chat About Vegetables, Biscuits, Birds And Le Creuset

Ellie’s fame is on the rise, and she receives a potential new career opportunity. I am surprised to find myself doing a stand up gig in a sex club, which was a very weird experience indeed. This week’s games involve guessing vegetables, identifying birds, and more biscuit-based fun. Ellie has an encounter with another blind man. A trip to the barbers gets unexpectedly political and also sexual. I’ve got some gossip involving Jasper Carrott and Iron Maiden, and there’s another surprise song in the park.

(00:00:00) - The Intro Bit

(00:02:37) - Ellie’s Fifteen Seconds Of Fame

(00:09:43) - I Find Myself Performing In A Sex Club

(00:26:22) - Guess The Vegetable

(00:31:06) - Ellie’s Tram Drama

(00:33:33) - Brazen Barber Banter

(00:54:40) - Jasper Carrott, Iron Maiden, Le Creuset And Sonic The Hedgehog

(01:12:42) - Professional Window Doodler