Two Cents Gets Distracted returns for another week of rugby nonsense, overreactions, and the occasional decent point.

This week: Leinster do what Leinster do best — rock up with what is basically a full international side (plus newly signed 88-test All Black Rico Ioane) and somehow still get absolutely folded in a big knockout game. Bordeaux go back-to-back in the Champions Cup and, sadly for the neutrals, it wasn’t even close. A full-scale French demolition job.

We also discuss the absolute unit that is Ben Tameifuna — less “tighthead prop” and more “small tectonic plate” — while Maxime Lucu continues to prove that if a certain Antoine Dupont didn’t exist, he might genuinely have a case as the best halfback on the planet right now.

Back home, the Chiefs and Crusaders gave us an absolute belter, and annoyingly… those pesky Crusaders are starting to look properly dangerous again. The Force’s finals dream is over, the Reds did enough to sneak through, and thankfully our Blues avoided embarrassment by employing the elite tactical strategy known as “having the bye.”

We cover every Super Rugby game, throw in a dangerous amount of nonsense chat, and somehow end up talking ourselves into several terrible opinions along the way.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Audio warning from the lads this week: the first 10 minutes are a bit cooked. We had some mic issues, so poor old Mark is a little quiet while we ramble about books, TV shows, random nonsense and even break into a strange little song at one point. It’s still listenable, but if you’re not interested in hearing two idiots talk absolute rubbish before the rugby starts, you can safely skip ahead without missing much.

Once we actually get to rugby, the big topic this week is the South African URC sides reportedly considering pulling out of the Champions Cup. Is the travel just too brutal? Are the players being run into the ground with basically year-round rugby? Are the South African teams really adding enough to justify the chaos? And are fans actually invested in it? We dive into all of it.

Back home, we break down another massive weekend of Super Rugby, including the Blues putting in an absolutely grim performance against the Hurricanes. Genuine dogs balls stuff. The Canes, meanwhile, just keep rolling from strength to strength.

We also cover a couple of brutal injuries from the weekend. Damian McKenzie copped a nasty head knock that’ll likely sideline him for a few weeks, while poor old Tangi Tao suffered a season-ending injury at the worst possible time after pushing hard into All Blacks contention. Proper heartbreaking luck for the bloke. As always, there are tangents, nonsense, overreactions, probably a few terrible takes and a couple of beers along the way.

Grab a beer and enjoy

Blockbuster semi-final weekend in the European Rugby Champions Cup, and things got spicy.

Leinster Rugby nearly pulled off an all-time choke job but somehow held on in a proper squeaky-bum finish—thanks in no small part to the unlikely Irish saviour Rieko Ioane, who shut the gate on a last-gasp attack that would’ve sent Dublin into meltdown.

Over in the other semi, Union Bordeaux Bègles got the job done against Bath Rugby in a cracking contest… though you’d be forgiven for missing parts of it while Andy Goode carried on like the ref had personally wronged him. Maybe he had a point—but mate, we get it.

Back home, Super Rugby Pacific rolls on:

• The Hurricanes keep humming, with Ruben Love making a serious case as the next All Blacks 10 👀
• The Crusaders… still lurking. Doubt them at your own risk
• The Blues got it done after a shaky start against Moana Pasifika
• The Highlanders and Fijian Drua battled to a sweaty stalemate
• The Western Force are making a cheeky late push after knocking off the Waratahs
• And the Reds piled more misery on the sliding Brumbies

All that… plus a generous serving of absolute nonsense.

Grab a beer and enjoy 🍺