Loving yourself sounds simple, but for many people, it can feel confusing, uncomfortable, or even a little out of reach. In this episode, we talk about what self-love really means, why it is not the same as being selfish, and how to start building a kinder, more supportive relationship with yourself in everyday life.

This conversation is a reminder that self-love is not about pretending everything is perfect. It is about learning to treat yourself with compassion, patience, honesty, and care as you grow into the next version of yourself.

• Why loving yourself can feel hard, especially if you are used to being self-critical
• The difference between self-love and selfishness
• How your inner dialogue shapes the way you move through your life
• Why self-love is often built through small, daily choices
• How to start showing up for yourself with more compassion
• What it looks like to support yourself through growth, mistakes, and change

Self-love is not something you magically wake up with one day. It is a relationship you build with yourself over time.

Being kind to yourself does not mean you stop growing. It means you stop using shame, criticism, or pressure as your main fuel.

You can love yourself and still want more for your life. In fact, real self-love often helps you make better choices because you believe you are worth caring for.

The way you speak to yourself matters. Your inner voice can either become a safe place or another source of stress.

Small acts of self-trust, self-respect, and self-compassion can change how you see yourself over time.

“Self-love is not about thinking you are perfect. It is about deciding you are still worthy while you are growing.”

“You do not have to criticize yourself into becoming better.”

“The relationship you have with yourself affects every other part of your life.”

“Loving yourself can start with one small choice to stop being so mean to yourself.”

If this episode made you realize you are ready to stop being so hard on yourself and start becoming the next version of you with more clarity, calm, and support, we would love to help.

Learn more about Five Year You coaching at fiveyearyou.com/coaching.

So many people walk through life carrying a quiet feeling that they’re somehow falling short. Even when things look successful from the outside, there can still be an internal pressure saying “do more,” “be better,” or “you should be further ahead by now.” In this episode, Andrew and Catherine unpack why that feeling exists, where it often comes from, and how to begin healing it from the inside out.

They explore how childhood conditioning, comparison, perfectionism, achievement culture, and societal expectations shape the way we see ourselves. From parenting and relationships to careers, money, and personal growth, the conversation dives into the many ways “not enough” can show up in everyday life.

Andrew and Catherine also share how they’ve challenged traditional ideas of success in their own lives by redefining what fulfillment actually means for them. They explain why external achievement can never permanently fix internal self-worth and why true confidence has to be built from within.

If you’ve ever felt like you were constantly trying to prove yourself, earn approval, or chase a version of success that doesn’t actually make you happy, this episode will help you pause, reflect, and reconnect with who you truly are underneath the pressure.

• Why feeling “not good enough” is a universal human experience
• How perfectionism and comparison fuel self-worth struggles
• The connection between childhood praise, criticism, and adult anxiety
• Why achievement only creates temporary relief
• How societal expectations shape the goals we chase
• The danger of tying your worth to productivity or performance
• How to separate self-worth from external success
• Why learning to receive compliments matters
• The importance of resting without guilt
• How to stop auditioning for love and approval
• Questions to ask yourself if you constantly feel behind
• What it means to build your life from the inside out

• The Layers of Life framework
• Five Year You Coaching
• Previous Five Year You podcast episodes on personal growth, identity, and emotional healing

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who may need the reminder that their worth is not something they have to earn.

For coaching and resources designed to help you create the next version of yourself, visit: Five Year You Coaching

Hosts: Andrew Dewar & Catherine Collins

In this episode of Five Year You, we get real about failure, setbacks, and those moments when life just… derails. If you’ve ever asked, “Why is this happening to me?”—this conversation will help you reframe the tough moments and find meaning, strength, and even humor in the mess.

👇 Scroll for tools, timestamps, and links!

✨ What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• Why setbacks are a natural part of the growth journey
• The importance of mindset: victim vs. curiosity
• Practical coping skills for when you’re in the middle of a setback
• The power of contrast days
• How reframing failure helps you become the person you're meant to be
• Parenting wisdom: why we shouldn’t shield kids from failure
• How to process big feelings—without getting stuck
• Fanny pack of coping tools (yes, we said that)

✅ Helpful Tools & Resources:

📱 Opal App – Reduce Screen Time & Reclaim Life

🎧 Audible Free Trial – Personal Development on the Go

🍳 Instant Pot – Save Time, Eat Well

💬 Favorite Quotes:

🌟 Glimmers of the Week:

Catherine: Finally making a long-put-off doctor appointment thanks to a little loving push.

Andrew: Wearing yellow for the first time and loving the way it feels.

📲 Stay Connected:

🌐 Website: https://fiveyearyou.com

📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

📧 Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

⚠️ Disclaimer:

This content is for informational purposes only and not intended as a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice. Some links may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we may earn from qualifying purchases.

💬 Your Turn:

What’s a setback that taught you something valuable?

Drop it in the comments—we’d love to hear your story.

🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe and tap the bell for weekly inspiration.

🎧 Available wherever you get your podcasts.

#FiveYearYou #OvercomingSetbacks #MentalHealthTools #PersonalGrowth #CopingSkills #LifeLessons #SelfImprovement #Resilience #Podcast #AndrewDewar #CatherineCollins

5 Year You Coaching https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/

If you’ve been feeling like someone else’s success makes you uncomfortable… like you’re comparing more than you want to admit… like certain people just trigger something in you—this episode is for you.

Because here’s the truth:

Jealousy isn’t something to be ashamed of.

And more importantly… it’s not a flaw—it’s feedback.

💭 What This Episode Covers

• Why jealousy isn’t a “bad” emotion—it’s information
• What your jealousy is actually trying to show you
• How to stop suppressing or projecting jealous feelings
• The hidden beliefs that keep you stuck in comparison
• Signs someone else might be jealous of you
• How to handle jealousy (yours and others’) in a healthy way

🚨 Why Jealousy Happens

1. It Reveals Your Desires
2. When you feel jealous, you’re reacting to what someone represents.
3. It’s not about them—it’s about what you want.
4. 👉 Result: You get clarity on what matters to you
5. Learned Beliefs Create Resistance
6. If you believe “rich people are greedy” or “happy people are just lucky,”
7. your brain will block you from becoming those things.
8. 👉 Result: You stay stuck wanting what you’ve labeled as “bad”
9. Suppression Turns Into Projection
10. Ignoring jealousy doesn’t make it disappear.
11. It shows up later as criticism, resentment, or passive aggression.
12. 👉 Result: You push away what you secretly admire
13. Comparison Without Awareness
14. You compare your life to others without asking why.
15. You feel frustrated—but don’t explore the root.
16. 👉 Result: You stay in the loop instead of growing from it

😞 The Emotional Cost of Jealousy

When you believe “they have something I don’t,” it creates:

• insecurity
• frustration
• quiet resentment

And the worst part?

👉 You miss the opportunity to turn that feeling into growth

⚠️ The Hidden Danger

Unchecked jealousy can quietly shape how you see others—and yourself.

Examples:

• Dismissing successful people instead of learning from them
• Making backhanded comments to feel better
• Judging lifestyles you secretly want
• Avoiding growth because it conflicts with your beliefs

👉 You block yourself from becoming the very thing you desire

🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear

There are no “bad” emotions

There is only information

Jealousy doesn’t mean you’re a bad person

It means you’re an honest one

What you feel is pointing you somewhere

Not holding you back

👉 You just have to be willing to look at it

🔄 What Jealousy Actually Means

It means something inside you is waking up

It means you’re noticing what you want

It means you’re ready for more

This isn’t something to hide from

It’s something to learn from

👉 It’s the beginning—not the end

🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Jealousy” Mindset

1. Name It Without Shame
2. Instead of avoiding it, say: “I feel jealous.”
3. That honesty is where growth begins.
4. Get Curious
5. Ask yourself:
6. What exactly am I jealous of?
7. What does this person represent to me?
8. Challenge Your Beliefs
9. Notice your automatic thoughts:
10. “Rich people are…”
11. “Happy people are…”
12. Rewrite what no longer serves you.
13. Shift From Comparison → Possibility
14. Instead of “Why them?” ask:
15. “What would it look like for me to have this too?”
16. Watch Your Words
17. Avoid criticizing or minimizing others.
18. What you say about them often reveals how you feel about yourself.

💡 Key Takeaway

Jealousy isn’t your enemy

It’s your internal compass

It shows you what you want

And where you’re holding yourself back

👉 Use it as direction—not judgment

✨ Glimmers from This Episode

• Realizing emotions are guidance—not something to fear
• Catching your thoughts and choosing a new perspective
• Letting yourself want more without guilt
• Seeing growth as something available to you too

💬 Final Thought

The things that trigger you…

are often the things meant for you.

Pay attention to what stirs something inside you.

It might just be pointing you toward your next chapter.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

If you’ve been feeling like things finally start going well… and then somehow fall apart… like you can’t stay consistent even when you want to… like you get anxious the moment life feels calm—this episode is for you.

Because here’s the truth:

You’re not randomly messing things up.

And more importantly… you’re not broken.

💭 What This Episode Covers

• Why you sabotage good things (even when you don’t mean to)
• The concept of a “happiness ceiling”
• How your past shapes your comfort zone
• Why calm and peace can feel uncomfortable
• Signs you’re subconsciously self-sabotaging
• How to start shifting your internal “thermostat”

🚨 Why Self-Sabotage Happens

1. Your “Familiarity Thermostat”
2. Your mind and body are wired to return to what feels normal—even if it’s stressful or chaotic.
3. 👉 Result: When life gets better than your baseline, you unconsciously pull yourself back.
4. Worthiness Wounds
5. Sometimes, deep down, you don’t believe you deserve good things.
6. 👉 Result: You disrupt what’s going well to match how you feel about yourself.
7. Addiction to Stress
8. If you grew up around chaos or instability, calm can feel unsafe or unfamiliar.
9. 👉 Result: You recreate tension because it feels more “normal.”
10. Fear of the Unknown
11. Success, peace, or happiness at a new level can feel unpredictable.
12. 👉 Result: You retreat back to what you know—even if it’s not what you want.

😞 The Emotional Cost of Self-Sabotage

When you believe “this won’t last” or “something bad is coming,” it creates:

• anxiety
• overthinking
• self-doubt

And the worst part?

👉 You end up proving your own fears right.

⚠️ The Hidden Danger

Self-sabotage doesn’t always look obvious—it often feels justified.

Examples:

• Picking a fight during a great moment
• “Losing motivation” right when things take off
• Creating problems that weren’t there before

👉 You don’t realize you’re choosing discomfort—you think you’re reacting to reality.

🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear

• You are not behind
• You are not broken
• You are not incapable

What you’re experiencing is conditioning.

And that can change.

👉 You are allowed to feel safe in good things.

🔄 What Self-Sabotage Actually Means

It doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means:

• You’re growing
• You’re stretching beyond your old identity
• You’re entering unfamiliar territory

👉 It’s the beginning—not the end

🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Self-Sabotage” Mindset

1. Notice the Pattern
2. Start catching the moment things feel “too good.”
3. Ask yourself:
4. Is something actually wrong—or just unfamiliar?
5. Name It in Real Time
6. Say it: “This is my thermostat kicking in.”
7. Labeling it helps you create space instead of reacting.
8. Sit With the Discomfort
9. Let things be good without interfering.
10. Practice staying in the calm—even when it feels strange.
11. Normalize Good
12. If something positive happens—don’t rush past it.
13. Let it sit. Feel it. Get used to it.
14. Raise Your Baseline Gradually
15. You don’t need to jump from survival mode to perfect peace overnight.
16. Small shifts create lasting change.

💡 Key Takeaway

You’re not sabotaging your life on purpose.

You’re regulating back to what feels safe.

But safe doesn’t have to mean stressful.

👉 You can teach your system that good things are safe to keep.

✨ Glimmers from This Episode

• Learning that calm is something you can grow into
• Realizing awareness is the first step to change
• Finding peace in small, steady progress
• Letting yourself enjoy when things are going right

💬 Final Thought

Maybe things aren’t falling apart.

Maybe they’re finally coming together in a way you’re not used to yet.

And maybe…

this time…

you don’t have to ruin it.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫