Mark and Paul are recording straight from their hotel room in Portugal (Alvor) — slightly overcast, very rosé-fuelled, and with Mark rocking a husky “I’m sick again” voice. Booked, blessed and busy… but still somehow on an all-inclusive.

They break down the most chaotic Ryanair flight of all time: toilets locked, “I’m calling the police” flying around, a ham-and-cheese panini turning into full-on authorities boarding, and passengers absolutely outraged.

Plus: kids invading the adults-only pool, AI videos and AI boyfriends creeping them out, and a holiday edition Glow Up or Blow Up (extension lead hack, sun-lounger wars, packing cubes, wristbands, WhatsApp groups).

And finally: what they’re watching, what they’re wearing (SPF chat), and Paul’s garden furniture arriving at home.

Mark and Paul kick off with pure ship-life nostalgia: the dream of being a singer for the private cabin, the “mini magician” onboard, and the genuinely unhinged memory of drunkenly demanding Peter the Magician fetch the rabbit for the entertainers’ mess.

Then it’s time for hardcore adulting. Mark’s turned 40, they’ve been with the solicitor, and they realise a will isn’t just “something you’ll do someday” especially as DINKs, with the grim-but-real chat about who “dies first” and where everything ends up.

Plus: enduring power of attorney, free websites, Penny living forever, leaving the beauty stash to Lily (who’ll sell it on Vinted), census obsession, mortgage panic, The Ivy drama, and spicy McDonald’s nuggets.

Enduring Power Explaination : https://youtu.be/sr4e8D428e8?si=SyXVNDGU2UgJlsMj

Enduring Power of Attorney Link : Enduring Power of Attorney (EPA) | Decision Support Service

Mark and Paul are back with cuts on the hands, boxes everywhere, and Paul’s ongoing battle with packaging (Stanley blade included). There’s also a serious investigation into the “Sol de Janeiro hand sanitiser” mix-up, and a garden update that’s this close to giving main character energy.

Mark is officially one of Ireland’s “richest influencers” (apparently). Net worth: €650k. Reality: mortgages, seven-day weeks, and family members texting “congrats” like the money’s actually landed.

Plus: glam mam sightings at “Dion/Dean”, Lily’s first stage show drama (why was she in the back row?!), PR tea about people selling press sends on Vinted, Coachella chat, and a Glow Up or Blow Up on pop stars we need to come back.

Finally: wardrobe meltdowns, Victoria Beckham foundation habits, Mallorca champagne plans, and what they’re watching (Hacks is back).

Paul and Mark kick off this Hot Take with Coachella. They unpack festival madness, influencer backlash, insane prices (hello $34 pizza slice), and the absolutely dystopian Revolve gifting suite where people are hauling out five bags of freebies.

Plus: iconic outfits, Bieber and Sabrina Carpenter discourse, and why Charlene Murphy’s Coachella content deserves awards.

Mark and Paul are back with a very “we’re old now” episode: lazy weekends, early nights, champagne as a lifestyle choice, and the mystery of how you can take 47 supplements and still feel like you’re slowly dying. Penny’ has new demands, and the flower-arranging chaos nobody asked for.

Then it’s all about the youth: niece Lily’s first big theatre show… and the unhinged makeup list for a SIX year old. Armani foundation, Charlotte Tilbury highlight, brushes, the full production.

Plus: Glow Up or Blow Up: buying fags with a note at nine, penny jellies, playing on the street, payphones, Snake, school vaccines and communion cash before ending on what they’re watching (Louis Theroux’s Manosphere, The Boyfriend) and what Mark’s wearing (Hydrotint).